im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
