did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
