So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
