his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
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I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
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What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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