I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
