Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
vagina is talking i cant
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize