how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
