In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
