Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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