yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
