So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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