There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
