The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i wish my penis had a tongue
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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