rhymes with "ouble enetration"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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