I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
