I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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