There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
