he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
