I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
