I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
