Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
