Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
