I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
