Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize