i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
