you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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