i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Me too!
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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