Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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