So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
