I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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