I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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