I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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