Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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