I'm really into asian looking animals
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
