3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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