i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
