everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
