sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
