i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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