i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
