I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
