im six kinds of drunk right now
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize