I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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