his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
