you mean i was at the winter classic?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
