just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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