You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
