He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
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ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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