sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So vagazzling was a success
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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