apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
