she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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