I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
