Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
