After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
