why didn't you poke me back
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
