I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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