you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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