There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
