Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
