do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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